Over the years, I’ve come to realize that I’m unfortunately capable of being full on, flat out, boy crazy.

I allowed it, sadly, to shape a lot of my own self-perceptions while growing up, and having a boyfriend became the be-all end-all of my existence. Those feelings would later inform me on how to act in my first (and only, to this day) relationship; I was manipulative and manipulated, emotionally abused, isolated. Real fun stuff. If it weren’t for a literal intervention, I’m not exactly sure when I would have gotten out of that relationship. I was angry for a long time after that (mostly at myself), but I think at the heart of it I was scared that it would happen again. I’d make the wrong decisions, burn what remained of my bridges, and become a person I hated.