hello, 2019

New year, new me! Or so the saying goes.

January 1st has come and gone, and we now find ourselves in the barren wasteland that is fast-encroaching mid-January. Did you make any resolutions? ‘Cause I can tell you right now, I sure as hell didn’t.

You know what I did make? Goals. Vague goals, sure, but specific enough to be actionable.

Also, I say things like “actionable” now, because I’m officially out of my mid-twenties. Gross.

The biggest goal I have is to make more stuff, and to be creative. Again, fairly ambiguous, but there are a bunch of creative outlets that I used to turn to that I haven’t been successful in reviving habits for. Writing, for example – I used to write a lot (mostly fanfiction, which is a LEGITIMATE CRAFT (if you want it to be) AND A WORTHY USE OF YOUR TIME WHETHER YOU READ IT OR WRITE IT OR BOTH, come at me) and the other day, I re-read some of it. And I was sad. Sad and jealous, I think, of how easily it had come to me then, and how much more fancifully creative I was. That creativity is channeled in different ways now, but those are my roots, y’know? And I want to get back to them.

Video is another outlet. If you scroll back through this blog, you’ll find a few videos peppered in, and more on my YouTube channel. It’s odd to say that I want to do this as something that’s more for me than it is for anyone else to watch, since it’s posted publicly on the internet, but it is. Something I’ve come to realize is that I don’t have to justify or apologize for wanting to create content for the sake of creating; there doesn’t have to be some great meaning or message to it, or really anything besides the satisfaction of making a thing. I’m doing this stuff because I want to. And that’s empowering af.

I had such trouble editing the audio for the beginning of this video because I had a space heater on (dummy) so I tried in vain to remove it before scrapping the whole bit. I’m not completely happy with it, obvs, but I’m happier that I just uploaded a video.

Anyhow, tl;dr: I’m going to make more stuff, and I’m very excited to be doing so. I hope you do more of what you like, and find ways to discover new joy in it this year.

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